A Man.

 

I closed my eyes. I knew my fate. For the fifth time I have failed. I switched off the lights; the hallway turned dark and vacant or was it my mind?

Months rolled on, seasons changed. One day a tinge of success showered on me, but I wasn't satisfied.

For the last time I knocked the door, it didn’t open as the previous times. I returned back to where I started. My journey continued, the destination is very far from reach.

"Uncle how much is five added to seven”, asked a little boy.

I thought for a while and answered "Twelve".

"I know its twelve, but I only have ten, would you mind lending me two bucks".

He looked at me confidently and replied "I will return it back in two days period".

"You don’t have to”, I thought, and gave him the money.

The boy thanked me and produced an elegant smile before he crossed the road.

I continued my journey; my destination is not so far now. I reached the point where I desired, as expected I was alone, as always.

I looked at the mirror; my reflections stared back at me.


Train whistled loudly, it moved on, pushing the surrounding and my life backwards. Everything floated in the air as I swam across my memories slowly and was asleep.


I could figure out that I have failed for the sixth time. I looked at the mirror; as usual it figured me only.


That night I counted the stars; I stopped counting for a while and gazed at the dark corner. I heard someone crying in the dark. I knew there won’t be anyone.


I collected a few twigs and made fire with them; in the warmth I chanted the sweet memories of my life. The fire got thicker and thicker.

**************************************************************************

Nature paced itself well and years went on, but it had tough time disintegrating the memories of a man who was never tired of failures.



Blog Journals.

Hi everyone..........

If you observe the number of post my blog has published, you will come to know that by each year the number is reduced to half.

I am not here to discuss that or at reaching an answer for it. I just want to keep on posting at a regular basis.

I must say that I was having the so called "writers block" or whatever it may be (I am not a writer anyway), I hope this post will help me get rid of the block I am facing.

Cheers.

His Friends.

There isn't much time left. Its my turn, I had to. I was feeling the pressure. Will I be able to return back?

I stared into the darkness, I couldn't see anything, there was something that was expecting my arrival.

Everyone wished me good luck, but I knew it was of no use.

I didn't know how much far I was from the destination point, none exactly knew it. I was cautious, pacing myself slowly.

It was one of the beautiful nights I had witnessed even though it was gloomy, the stars shining above, the wind whistling past my ears, I enjoyed it, but the fear was there.

I wasn't bare footed; I could hear my own foot steps. Am I alone?,no I wasn't I could hear some one walking behind, I took a deep breath halting my movement. I slowly turned around and went through the whole surrounding, I continued my journey concluding there wasn't anyone following, I was wrong there were many.

Thunder struck and lighting followed, the latter helped me to see it, I was much relieved. I walked towards the exact destination briskly.

Lightning followed in quick succession and I halted and took a quick look all over, there wasn't anything suspicious. The whole attention went to the near by water well. The water well had a pulley and rope arrangement tied to a metal vessel. I peeped to have a look; I wasn't able to have an idea of the depth nor the presence of water, darkness everywhere nothing else. I waited for the next thunder lightening to strike, so that I could have a better vision, but in vain.

I reached out for the rope, slowly I dipped the vessel into the well, out from nowhere I heard a hissing sound from the back of my head, in a matter of seconds entire blankness eluded me.

..................................................................

He woke up and tried to remain calm. A stranger asked him," Are you feeling alright?"
He nodded.

The stranger had a small conversation with the man and was about to leave, when he suddenly raised his voice and said,” He left me! he was murdered near a water well!!!!!!!!".Soon he burst into tears.

"I can’t keep this anymore”, he had said before giving it to the stranger.

The stranger consoled him, affectionately.
......................................................................

"How did his friend die?” asked the girl.

"He says he was murdered”, answered the stranger.

They both had a look at each other.

The stranger gave the photo to her, the photo he got a few minutes ago.

"Doctor, can you bring him back to the real world with his illness cured?"

The stranger, though ranked among the top in his medicine degree, didn’t answer.

She kept the photo in the file, where other photos were placed, there were three of them, three of his friends, but the fact was that they all were photos of only one person.

She looked at the patient,he hasn't changed much,he looked the same as in the photos. She went on staring the patient.

When she left the room, no one was there, he was alone.

Change is inevitable.

I haven't posted anything in my blog for a long period. I wanted my blog to be updated frequently but somehow I wasn't able to.

I felt that something should be changed, so that it won’t the same anymore.

So I changed my design. It looks good, doesn’t it?

I heard the clock alarming.

Its time to change.

I am.......

The pillow beneath my head was not fresh. I hadn't seen anyone else except myself for the past two days. My world has been confined to the walls of my home. Nothing good or bad had happened to my lifeless life.

I slowly turned the page of the book; it was end of the ninth chapter of the novel "A stone for Danny Fisher" by Harold Robbins. The electric fan above my head isn't rotating as it did a minute ago. The power failure had silenced the room, even though the fan was the only source of rhythmic sound. I placed the book in my bed, the bed had been comforting me and I was comfortable. I was certain a shower might show up very soon, monsoon season was about to commence. Before the rain, I could smell the sluggish mud in my thoughts. I wasn't startled by the noise of the books falling from the shelves. I arranged them back in order; the books were more stable then. I returned to my bed, I was about to continue reading and all of a sudden I heard a tapping sound. I panicked, my fear controlled me, I didn't know where I was, seconds passed on, somehow I was able to make a moment, a few steps towards the mysterious sound, and I was sweating as never before. Inch by inch I closed to the source. A drop of sweat under the gravity drained to the floor

I was shocked, I was on my knees, I yelled as hard as I can, but my body produced no noise. I felt my throat dry and a pain shivering through the whole physical body. I saw the creature, it wasn't a stranger, I knew him very well. For the first time in my life, I asked myself “Should I believe my eyes?".

With all my courage, I looked at his eyes; he seemed as if I was not there. He left the room after combing his hair; confused at its highest level I followed him. He made his way to my bed; he started reading the book from tenth chapter. My neighbour shouted "Mr. Edward are you there?”
Before I could answer, he replied "Yes I am coming".

Some facts are to be believed, his physical appearance was exactly as mine, but why isn't he sensing me?

As he walked past me, I asked myself "If he is Edward then who am I?”

The Wizard of Jopicam

Thanks. Thanks for the deed you have done."Meow.......... Meow..........".

They call me the "Wizard of Jopicam".

The bus was crowded with more people than usual.I was standing in the jam pack bus for the past fifteen minutes. I am not feeling any tiresome. I enjoy this journey. The journey of an hour length.The journey which transforms me.

When I was a boy, I used to watch my neighbors play,I was fond of playing football,but they neglected me or did I neglect them?

Jopicam is a small village and I am the wizard, the wizard of Jopicam.

I looked at the watch,when I was seated. Ten minutes to six twenty,I will be there in my home town in another fifteen minutes.My home town is much smaller than Jopicam.

I smiled back at the girl who stared me,she did continue staring.She had a doll in her hands,a pretty beautiful one.The doll was made in such a way that it always smiled, I smiled back at the doll.

The bus reached my town,everyone rushed to get out, I waited until I was the only one.The girl with the doll was walking quickly,her doll still smiling.I entered the small tea shop and ordered for a cup of milk.I sipped the milk with utmost patience.The hot milk spilling in my throat,I need a change.No I shouldn't.

I ordered for another cup of milk.I heard a cat meow,I stopped drinking and looked around for it.He was not cute, a veteran.I poured the rest of the milk on the floor.He must be the ugliest cat in my home town.Everyone stared me and the cat,both are looking monstrous.I whispered in his ears "You are good looking than me".

He might have understood what I said, he followed me.I didn't ignore him.We walked much slower than others.I went on telling him about various matters.He replied me, the only way he can, still I understood him.

"Why do they call him the 'Wizard of Jopicam' " asked the girl to his mother.

"I don't know really, but I think it has got something to do with his state of mind" answered her mother quietly.

Her mother continued "He is a mad man,so don't ever go near him and have a talk,he will harm you".

Her eyes were terrified but the doll smiled elegantly as before.

The sun was about to set, its the day's end,but for us it was only a beginning,Wizard of Jopicam spoke to himself.His first friend, a living being who read him.

Things will change he was certain.............

A December Night.

Today is December 24th, there is snow fall here in my home town, it makes December much more special. The month has 31 days. Its the last month of the year, moreover I was born on a December night. Even when I am ninety I wish I could live for another ninety more.

If I was granted to possess a thing from the Earth, then......................

I, an eight year old, looked at the sky, a process I enjoy doing. The stars are all sparkling, they are watching me. Some stay in groups, some are staying alone still I admire their beauty irrespective of the colour and status. The cool breeze whistle past my face, my body and mind freezes. The distant hut is more elegant with the star lit in the front of it. Even though the star is small and simple it is cute, one will take time to find the same beauty in the last night. The shrub near the house has been well decorated. Small dolls are kept inside the small manger. Stars are shining and the night goes on.

I heard the sound of a bell, who could be making such a noise in the late night. I turned around and there was no one. I realized that the sound was nearing; my brain told me to look up.

A big fellow dressed in red .................. that should be Santa, I howled "Santa Claus!!!!!", he smiled back and dropped me a packet, His reindeers accelerated, sound of the ringing bell vanished and so did Santa.

I was speechless; I couldn't believe what has happened, who would believe me?

The gift was packed well, I was eager to open it, but I hesitated.

"Let this remain unopened ", so that I will be able to recollect the whole wonderful night.

Even though my grand children have pleaded me to open it, I haven't.

If I was granted to possess a thing from the Earth, when I die,it would be that little gift, the gift from the Heavens.

A virtual post.

The last post was published on July 20 2009, my boss hasn’t published anything till now, and to be exact I was idle for the past 153 days. I was not able to visit my pals, neither my boss, we are sorry for the act.

My boss will be free for 10 days as its Christmas Holidays. I am sure he will be interested in visiting many of my fellow mates.

This post is different from the other ones, usually my boss publish the posts but he will be surprised to know that myself have posted it - A virtual post through my virtual hands.

My real boss is coming, I am concluding.................

Back to the virtual world.

The Newspaper Reports

He went to the bedroom at fifteen past one in the morning. He switched on the light. The room, small with windows and beautiful curtains was a compact one. He was in deep dreams when clock struck two. He was very thirsty, and there he was near the jug placed in the table near the door. After drinking enough water, his eyes caught the glimpse of the show case, adjacent to the table. With his eyes, the sleepy weary eyes he went through the items in the showcase. He hadn’t found time to appreciate the cute little things. The small car which once he played through out the day was now a dusty piece of plastic. He recollected his childhood memories; soon his mind was forgetting one thing – the sleep. He gazed through each and every object with utmost patience. He hadn’t shown such patience for a while. “Can’t you switch off the lights?” a loud voice from the opposite room. “I will close the door”, he answered politely. After closing the door, he came back to look the remaining, his eyes no more sleepy caught a round piece of metal. He observed it, he recognized it. He took it in his hand and stood still remembering…………

He was seated with his parents. The function had started a couple of hours ago and now it was time to hand over the prizes to the students. School Annual Days are always something to be remembered for years, the vibrant colours, the programmes and the event will be more memorable when one gets a prize in front of the huge audience. The loud speaker announced his name after the title “Honest student of the year”. He collected the medal, the round piece of metal.

He soon halted his process of observation and went near the window. He drew the beautiful curtains, stared the moon through the open window. The moon was almost a full moon. He continued staring for a while and did nothing.

“Will we be able to pass the paper today itself?” asked the man who had a pair of blue eyes. His companion replied “I am sure we will because the officer is a nice man, he is a currency lover.”.

They got down from the bus and walked briskly towards the office. They bought a newspaper from a nearby store and examined it.

The man with the blue eyes folded the paper and put in his bag. They didn’t read many of the headings. Of all the heading the following two were important to them.

“Save the country, fight against corruption”.

The other was the suicide of the officer, they should have met. The report stated that the officer had a medal in his neck which inscribed “Honest student of the year”.

The boy I liked.

No one observes me even though I am visible. They won’t hear when I speak but I have a story to tell and you should listen, consider it has a request, a very humble request. I have seen bright sun shine, heavy rains, morning dews and many ordinary things which others fail to notice. I am proud to say that I have experienced ! There are always things which we consider as something very special to a individual but later realize they are common. But it isn’t wrong to say "I am proud", so I will till my day.

He entered the room and quickly exited. I liked this boy very much. When he is with me, I am really happy, may be his smile, his lips make me feel so.

It was a rainy day, long thick sheets of water drops showering from the atmosphere. There was darkness everywhere.

I was having a good dream when suddenly the sun rays glazed. I said myself that I went to sleep just now and how come………………………..

I was halted from thoughts when my eyes, which have experienced a lot, found a thick flame. The flame was brought near a thin paper tube. I was able to see the lips in the yellow flame, the same lips which made me feel good. The flame was extinguished by the boy. The tube had a red coloured end; the tube was burning at one of its end. The boy inhaled the smoke and exhaled his life. I was coughing………………………………………

He stood near me, the lips are no more his, he smiled, the beauty had gone, and it went with the exhaled air. My mind asked “will he be able to produce the innocent smile?". I coughed………………

The pain is equal for a human being as well as for a wall,even though I am stronger than human beings.

An Interval

"Sir, May I get in?” an unfamiliar guy asked the permission, standing out of the classroom. I jerked, an interval from the....................

I looked at the speedometer, seventy kilometer per hour. I think the taxi driver is trying to show his driving skills. The highway was now crowded with luxurious cars, the taxi cannot be included. I have seen them but not as close as this, both the luxury cars and airplanes. I ignored the cars as the airplanes are much charmer, aren’t they?

The car began to slow down as it approached the airport!, I think I studied the word "airport " from my early days of schooling, but it meant nothing then but now it means everything.

Machine guns, security officers are now familiar than ever as I passed many of them. Huge bags, containing many valuable things (it should contain valuable things), our small bag too did contain many valuable things.

I was waiting in the cabin after all the checking. My first journey in an airplane, one could easily identify that it was my first, experienced ones look bored.

I was waiting...............................................

"Sir, May I get in?” an unfamiliar guy asked the permission. I jerked.

I don’t have wings and so I can’t fly.

An Airbus 320-231 flew past our school building, I was able to smile.

A try ...........................

 

I am scribbling from somewhere I have never tried. No written laws are there that one should not write from here.i am surrounded by people, they are watching; better to say staring. I have just passed a perfect green field. The dusk........ a ten out of ten must watch scenario.

It’s getting darker; the time is five forty pm. obviously during the winter it gets darker very soon.

The man adjacent is the perfect guy -because he is not disturbing me at all, guess how? Full blooded nap. As mentioned earlier this is the first time, oops........... the paper slipped,

There is no flat surface to place the paper and its preventing me from further writing.

I am pausing for a while; the train has reached a station.

The day I stood still

I was roaming, more freely in the college campus. My college was having the B tech arts festival. I prefer as a good spectator in competitions rather than as a participant, and I feel proud as I am giving chance to others.

I heard news that a few are required for a stage performance.

I was picked randomly; I tried to skip. But I was fixed for the program. 

Soon I reached the dressing room and was dressed, not at all in a hurry burry. 

Imagine me as a lonely wall or as a handicraft, it has to be painted well, so they did .a silver coat.

Soon I was given a silver piece of cloth as dhoti and an invisible shirt. To make the things worse, I don’t know how to use dhoti. With much uneasiness I wore, confidence at low level, bare footed entered the back stage. 

Question aroused "what are we going to do there in the stage?".

In fact the program was a tableau, the theme was something related to writers revolution (I suppose so). I got a position, a much easier one considering others. The moment came, curtain raised. Next thirty seconds were great, howling from the spectators, me motionless concentrating at a point. Curtain down and a huge applaud. I was happy so did our team. I felt the thirty seconds went so fast that I can’t recall anything.

Soon we were taken to the B tech hostel and had a great bath involving kerosene. Our seniors helped us to retain our natural look.

The results were announced; we were second, only two teams participated.

I will never forget that day,

The day I stood still.................

Will I ?

01.12.2007.

Hi readers,

"Remember remember the 5th of November". This is a famous dialogue from the movie ' V for Vendetta’. So remember remember the 13th of March, because it was the day when I stepped into the real world! Suppose if I was not born on that day or perhaps later things would have been different. Knock. Knock "who is that?" He entered. A man with a smile, a bag. The bag contained ninety seven different types of crayons. I am sure it is not ninety eight, I still have it. How many stamps do you have? Hey! What’s the matter! The author is confused so I think the readers. What are you scribbling, really addling.

I am trying to describe my thoughts raining in my mind, to be more precise the state of my mind. The exams are approaching, really confused how, when to start studying

Really bewildering.............

This piece was written a year ago, I have exams in the first week of January, hope I won’t compose

One more.................

Will I ?

A new member

You can hear the vehicles passing by. I am now at a place, a city which has more traffic than my native place.

Now I am an engineer!!!!

Well it’s been nice so far (since the first day of my B Tech Mechanical Engineering course).

The atmosphere is different, the campus is vast, and so are the things to study. My admission to the college has introduced a member - a number in a Samsung Mobile. The mobile I have is the right one for me; no fm radio, no mega pixel camera, no blue tooth and no other sophisticated technologies. But certainly I am able to make calls, which I am considered is the prime duty of a mobile. I don’t like to use mobile, but to stay connected as I am away from my home.

Last word about my mobile - simple and humble......................

"To Err Is Human"

They were waiting for it. They were confident............

And in a moment it happened 

A drop of honey and there comes....................

It is impossible to count them 

Ants kept on coming 

Soon the drop of honey was surrounded with enormous amount of ants.....................

I rushed......................

Similar situation

The heavy train as a honey drop and much bigger creatures than ants sticking to it....................

And many others are waiting, including me.

Without much effort, not as easy at it says, enter in.

Luckily human beings have got only two legs, enabling to stand.

After a few minutes we will be able to hear "coffee coffee.............." 

The coffee vendor with his big jar has to go around, which makes commuters more irritating.

But I don’t feel any uneasiness, from his part he is doing his job, his life depends on it.

It’s just a matter of seconds still they can’t adjust....................

“To Err Is Human”

 

2 versus 4

Year  1972.

A man walked down through the narrow path. He was certainly a fair good looking man. He looked at his watch, 8 45 am. He moved faster................................

He saw a serpent but it didn’t seem to bother him, must be a brave a man!!!!

He reached his destination at 8 55 am. 

36 years later............................

The same man as usual went to the office. He doesn’t have to walk as he did many years back.....

He has a four wheeled motor vehicle which carries him without any difficulty even though he is a bit fatty.

But he reaches only at 9 15 am, he is late by 15 minutes. He has been coming late to office from the day he bought the car!!!!

Sounds interesting........................

Are we faster than cars????????

 

Smoking...................

From October 2nd, Government of India has banned smoking of cigarettes and other related items in public places.

But yesterday I observed, standing in the bus stand, a fellow of nearly 25 years was smoking well enough to get noticed.

I ogled................... in a belief that it will make him know that he was violating a law

But my effort was futile...............

Writing a law in a paper is an easy one but implementing it is a Herculean job.

Indian government has yet again failed in implementing...............

When will we be successful? (But I am positive, we will be successful.............)

Everyone who smokes know “Smoking is injurious to health"

Then why still????????????????

A Different Perspective

I am Rockie.

My home has always provided me a good shelter but during winter and summer I prefer my cousin’s home.

I have a lot of good friends. We all are helpful to everyone.

I have a girl friend (keep it as a secret), Bakulu.

It was one of the hottest days of the summer.

I was walking swiftly, I paused.

I saw an old lady, short and lean, carrying a sack which was filled with something. She moved slowly with great difficulty, one can see sweat dropping from her forehead.

The next moment I saw the lady falling. A bike has hit her; I expected that the youngster who rode the bike will stop. But they moved on much faster. The rice in her sack was disseminated.

She looked at me hopelessly and started to fill the sack. I asked myself “how can I help her?".

I wagged my tail and barked loudly.

I wished but not I wish

During my childhood days, I was extremely jealousy. I hated to go school (but later I enjoyed them), the teachers used to give us a lot of homework and other tedious works.

I was extremely jealousy. When exams approached, I studied as I could (I am not at all a studious guy).My elders used to say "we all have come through the same difficulties .........................."

I thought "when will I become a grown up and be able to say the same thing?" But days went slowly " how did the grown ups one tolerated the slow motion"

But I knew I was just a novice..........................

I was extremely jealousy about the elders. They don’t have to do the homework they don’t have to study; they did everything as they wish. Sounds good..........................

Years passed........................

Do you still think that I am jealousy about them?????

A caterpillar does not know that it grows into a butterfly. Just like that I wasn’t able to see the other aspect of an Eldered ones life................

Now I am jealousy about the children!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Load Shedding

Switch on the emergency its time for load shedding. Lights off, darkness every where and a golden silence follow. I can hear nothing except the songs of insects, the woo woo of gentle breeze. I enjoy the moment ............ its something very special, and then I realize the melody effect of the silence.

Then I stare at the open sky, where the stars twinkle, with amusement. I keep on observing them until my neck feels the pain. If I am lucky I will see a shooting star which moves in tremendous pace. The shining moon makes the event much more beautiful. The entire ambience gives us a chance to think about the present busy world.

I am further stopped from thinking as the electricity returns. During the past thirty minutes I was in a different world wasn’t I?????

My past experiences

From the heading itself you are able to guess, aren't you?

During my 17 years, I had a lot of experiences. The experiences as you all know have a great range.

I would like to share my experiences with you, believing it will have some or the other effect on the reader. I will post my experiences one by one in the coming periods.

So here is the first one.

The incident happened when I was a first standard student. During that days I used to play cricket with my brothers in the near by ground. As usual I went to the ground with my brothers .

I got my chance to bat. I was not afraid of being injured, but unexpectedly one ball bowled by the bowler hit my stomach which opposed me from further batting. My brother, Manu with a crooked smile took the bat from me. I was in pain and more importantly I was very near to pitch (where my brother was batting).

In a flash something extraordinary happened to my head, I felt as if I was struck by something,

Soon realized that my elder brother, Manu had hit my head accidentally with the wooden bat while playing the shot.

There was a glimpse of surprise and anxiety, a pin drop silence was observed..............................

I touched my head with my magic hand, I could feel something but wasn’t able to recognize

I didn’t need the help of anyone to recognize it as my hand was painted with a dark red colour and the substance was none other than blood!!!!!!!!!!!

I was terrified I hadn’t seen that much blood till then, soon I started howling.................

I didn’t feel much pain which still amazes me. The uniform which I wore turned red.

Soon I was taken to the hospital and my wound was stitched, to be exact six stitches.

The bandages on the hand looked like a butterfly and the worst thing of all, the next day I went school. I expected one leave!!!!!!!!!!

The scar is still there ..................... I am not on revenge at any cost.....................

It happened last night

yesterday i went to bed at 11 30 pm hoping a sweet sleep.

but i was in a discomfort they made me so . who?????? its none other than the mosquitoes .

the little creatures had a great feast. at 5 30 in the morning i made an attempt in vain to kill them.

i went to the sofa room , usually in situations like this, the sofa offers me a better sleep.

but today he was also helpless. Even though I was entirely covered with my blanket the little cunning creatures was able to do their business.

i gave up the fight at 7 15 am . they won the battle without any difficult .

the only thing i understood was that i have lost some amount of blood and my sleep..................

A bit more about me

hai....................

hope you all know my name i dont think name plays a great role in our life but still i am ARJUN MS

right now i am a first year b tech (mechanical engineering ) student at school of enginnering (SOE) , cochin university of science and technology (CUSAT) ,Kochi ,Kerala ,India.

From september 13 i have been suffering from jaundice !!!!!!!!!!!!!

i am feeling much better rather much healthier.

Then there is one more thing to say about me --- I am an atheist.

I believe in my own capabilities.

My first post

so i am starting

are u ready ?

if not ......... be ready

i am not saying you all that this blog will be a special superb extra ordinary blog .

it will be an ordinary one .

i am a resident of Perinthalmanna a small city situated in state Kerala, India so you cant expect much from me.

its not the fact that i am a resident of Perinthalmanna that make me say not to except much but it its because of the fact that i am ARJUN MS and thats me ...........................................................